Rudy Eugene, 31, the naked man also known as The Miami Zombie who viciously attacked a 65 year old homeless man on the MacArthur causeway in Miami Saturday. He was caught trying to eat off the other man’s face, police fired one shot into the man after ordering the Rudy to stop. Rudy only gave grunts and growls back. It took 11 more shots to kill Rudy. The victim, whose identity has not been released, is still listed in critical condition at Jackson Memorial Hospital, the Miami Herald reports. The shocking incident occurred near the off-ramp to Biscayne Boulevard on the causeway. Police believe LSD is behind this act of cannibalism.
Other “zombie” related incidents
5/16: McArthur High School HazMat situation: Students and Teachers Decontaminated after breaking out in rash.
5/19: No confirmation on chemical at For Lauderdale International Airport.
5/21: Police: Man bites woman in Westchester.
5/23: I-285 re-opens after HazMat incident.
5/23: Man bites cousin’s nose off.
5/24: Second Broward school reports mystery rash.
5/25: HazMat called after kids exposed to pesticide on bus: HazMat and EMS respond to Lake County, FL School.
5/25: Disoriented passenger subdued on flight in Miami.
5/26: Naked man allegedly eating victim’s face, shot and killed by Miami Police.
5/26: Florida Doctor spits blood at Highway Patrolmen after DUI arrest.
5/27: Georgia contractor bites Lowes emplyees, resists arrest.
So, in the wake of reading this terrifying shit, Postcard and I started chatting, as you do, about the zombie apocalypse. Here are some things Postcard and I enjoy: zombie media, common sense, and YELLING ABOUT STUFF. Thus, for your reading pleasure, please enjoy our simple twenty-step guide to NOT DYING in the unlikely event that a zombie apocalypse ravages humanity:
- IN THE EVENT OF AN ACTUAL APOCALYPTIC SITUATION, ASSUME THAT THE FOLLOWING THINGS ARE GOING TO STOP WORKING: running water (this includes toilets); anything that relies on electricity (this includes gas pumps); anything that relies on natural gas lines (this includes gas stoves/central heat); basically, anything that relies on there being a factory of some variety at the other end of thing you want to make do stuff. THAT’S ALL GONNA BREAK. THIS INCLUDES THE INTERNET. Thus, the most important thing to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse is:
- RESEARCH. For as long as you possess the internet, do everything you can to learn as much as possible. Research edible/medicinal plants (or seriously, go into a bookstore and loot your shit a guidebook, they’re not large, they sell little tiny ones, you can put it in your pocket, WHY DOES EVERYONE IN EVERY ZOMBIE MOVIE NOT DO THIS). Research, from available information, how the zombies work/which of their senses are functional—for example, if they operate largely by smell, you want to work on smelling not alive. If they operate largely by sight, DON’T LIGHT FIRES AT NIGHT. And speaking of fires…
5/16: McArthur High School HazMat Situation
Students, Teachers Decontaminated After Breaking Out In Rash
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/16/mcarthur-high-school-contamination_n_1521764.html
5/19: No confirmation on chemical at Fort Lauderdale International Airport
…